Totally not tech related. Read at your own risk/boredom.

I sort of want a tattoo.

Problem is, the tattoo that I want would require a lot of time, ink, pain, money and skin. When I described the concept to a friend of mine who has several tattoos, she laughed at me and said that while it would be neat, I would probably never do it. My Cousin of Awesome in Nashville also thought that it would be "damn cool" but advised that I might want to start with a small part of it and "grow it out."

Her phrasing being completely apt, we laughed and smiled on the car ride home from the airport when we were talking about it (albeit quietly so as not to wake the sleeping angel in the backseat). In short, I want a vine-and-flower tattoo. And I'm not talking about some pretty little pink rose and a curly bit of stem around it: my body would be the growing stake for the vine. It would start at my left ankle, curl around my calf and thigh, wrap around my stomach and chest, and flow across my upper back to my right shoulder and then down my right arm with a final flower ending across the back of my hand.

I know, I know (shut UP Tiny Voices). That would be some serious ink. For a girl that has NONE. So let's examine why Erin the Fearless hasn't yet done this.

1) I don't know anything about tattoos. Like, how to design them or where to go or how much they cost or how to take care of them. Everyone in my life who does have them, lives in Indiana. Fat lot of good that does me here in New Haven.

2) Money. Actually, that's a cop out answer. Scratch that. I'm not telling you, Internet, how much I make ('cause that ain't yo' bizniz and all), but I assure you, if I can afford to buy plane tickets like mad all summer long, I can afford some ink.

3) Needles. I don't like 'em. At all. I am told that the sensation of tattoo needles is not the same as the needles that the YHP shoves in my arm when it's time for a flu shot or the anti-cervical cancer thingy, but I've got a healthy fear respect for shiny, pointy things that I can feel in my arm/ass/gumline/where ever it's being put. I had to deal a lot with needles as a kid because of my food allergies, and while I've conquered my fear loathing utter and complete horror issues with needles on an everyday basis, I'm a little scared to find out what happens when I purposefully lay myself out on a table so that some guy/gal/certified creature can poke tiny, rapid, ink-filled holes in my pale Irish skin.

(The Tiny Voices would like to me address the fact that I have a nose piercing. "That required a needle! One that you could actually see light through, if you held it up and looked through it!" Yes, yes, I had that done. But that was one needle and it was fast and despite the fact that it bled, it wasn't that scary because I knew it would be over damn quick. Also, the dude doing it was cute and had the best Irish accent ever.)(SHUT UP!)

4) Professionalism. While IT is not particularly known for being overly strict about how you look, and the media does a damn good job of stereotyping portraying geeks as people who should be free to dress, pierce, tattoo, etc. themselves however they'd like (a la Abby from NCIS, assorted characters from Bones, and some other assorted forensic science shows that are filled with kick ass female characters that I watch), I have had it beat into my pretty little Midwestern head that Mature People do not get tattoos, Tattoo'd People do not get Good Jobs, and all of that other elitist BS that exists.

Problem is that it's still justified in said pretty little head because I still don't know what I'm doing with my life. Yeah, I'm never gonna be the CEO of Chase (ew) or an elementary school teacher in the Midwest (or anything in the Midwest if I can help it) or anything else that requires you to be God Fearing and Conservative, but what if I want to be a CIO or the head of a dept. or something else that requires you to be Professional and Mature? I don't see the CIOs of either school I've worked for hosting tattoos.

(Granted, I interviewed successfully at last summer's internship and Yale while forgetting to remove wearing a nose ring, so it's quite possible that the stereotyping work force is getting looser on the whole Conservative Conformity thing.)

5) My Mother. She's still pretending that the nose jewelry is a sticker. Though I gleefully look for ways to push her buttons, the sheer DRAMA that would occur when I came home sporting a giant vine crawling up my leg and down an arm is not something with which I wish to deal. In fact, I'm fairly certain that I would not wish that "discussion" upon all but the worst of my (mostly fictional) enemies.

Although it might just prove to be so shocking that no one says a damn thing, which would be awfully awesome. But unlikely.

6) Permanency. Yeah, that shit's forever. I like how I look without tattoos. Would I like how I look with them? I don't know. I guess I could Sharpie myself for a month and find out, but that's a lot of work. And while I'm not really lazy, per say, I don't have that much dedication for a project that has a 50% chance of not happening.


It doesn't help that half the time I ease into things and the other I go for the all-or-nothing approach. (Hey, I never said I was rational!) For this, I have no idea which would be best, because the ink IS permanent, so you might as well go for the complete Body Vine as the Pretty Little Rosebud, because neither one of those suckers is leaving without some serious time with Mr. Laser and Dr. Dermatologist.

So am I insane, or do I just need to sort of direct my desires/curiosities? Thoughts on how to do the latter?